Italian outrage over Roma drowning photos

This is the first part of the full story:

Italian newspapers, an archbishop and civil liberties campaigners expressed shock and revulsion on Monday after photographs were published of sunbathers apparently enjoying a day at the beach just meters from where the bodies of two drowned Roma girls were laid out on the sand.

The bodies of two drowned Gypsy girls were laid out on the sand under beach towels.

1 of 2  Italian news agency ANSA reported that the incident had occurred on Saturday at the beach of Torregaveta, west of Naples, southern Italy, where the two girls had earlier been swimming in the sea with two other Roma girls. Reports said they had gone to the beach to beg and sell trinkets.

Local news reports said the four girls found themselves in trouble amid fierce waves and strong currents. Emergency services responded 10 minutes after a distress call was made from the beach and two lifeguards attended the girls upon hearing their screams.

Two of them were pulled to safety but rescuers failed to reach the other two in time to save them.

The Web site of the Archbishop of Naples said the girls were cousins named Violetta and Cristina, aged 12 and 13.

Very tragic indeed.

From many of the comments posted immediately following that story, many people (no doubt Americans) felt that it was somehow “rude”, “inappropriate”, or wrong in some way that the beach guests would continue with their normal activities when there were dead bodies within view.

Let me tell you something.

Where law intersects with culture, it is different in countries outside the USA. Here in the US, they would rope off the area, the CSI would be there within minutes, and after about 4 hours (after detectives have done their jobs), the beach would be re-opened. There might be a little memorial area for (with flowers and stuff) in memory of the dead kids (even if they were black kids, LOL). Topless chicks and sluts would cover up just for that day at least. The situation would be a decent compromise between the tragedy and “Business as Usual”.

But Italy is different. The situation was different. They simply don’t LIKE gypsies (“Roma”). Plus the police is kinda slow to react (too busy taking payoffs from the Mafia). So the beach guests carried on while the bodies were being eaten by sand worms and crabs. Hey, at least 2 kids were saved! Let’s carry on with the topless sunbathing and chatting about Mussolini, spaghetti and meatballs.

Yet, horrible as it sounds to some people, the situation was STILL better than if it were somewhere in Sub-Saharan Africa, for example.

Back in my country, I literally witnessed a decapitated body (apparently victim of the motorcycle vs. car crash… the car won). The body was sitting on the side of the freeway for WEEKS, besieged by the elements, starving vultures, and cars, until at some point it was basically a flat pancake of old clothes. All this time not a single cop came by (they are not paid enough to do that), and no one came to claim the body.

Point is, the Italians and beach bunnies in this CNN story acted like that because they are Italians… a whole different people in a whole different country. They don’t need, or have to, follow OUR moral or legal standards.

That is life, that event was very tragic, but that story was NOT news. THIS is news: “More innocent CHILDREN die due to Bush’s fucking war”.

Dead Iraq kids. What are YOU going to do about it?

Saving whales from deadly ship collisions

This story shows that even wildlife can be rubberneckers:

Marine scientists say several right whales are struck and killed each year by commercial ships passing through their feeding grounds.

But when researchers blasted warning noises from ships to scare the whales away, the lumbering giants instead swam to the surface to see what was going on — a response that put them in greater danger. Scientists found the animals are either so used to loud sounds, or so curious about them, that the noises apparently do the opposite of warning them. 

If only whales were as smart as dolphins, they wouldn’t keep getting fucked LOL!!

Whales have been getting fucked by humans for hundreds of years.

Dad kills daughter (“honor killing”) over Arranged Marriage

This just in:

A Pakistani man accused of killing his daughter because she wanted out of an arranged marriage told a judge Tuesday that he had done nothing wrong.

Ok that’s all fine and dandy, this guy is gonna get the chair, or at least life in prison. However, this whole story got me thinking…

How much of a LOSER was the groom, that the woman would rather stay single than be arranged to marry him? I mean, just how FUGLY and BROKE was he? And please don’t tell me any of that “Oh women want to be able to choose their mate, and not be arranged to some stranger” bullshit.

Look, whether or not we choose to publicly admit it in this Politically-fucking-Correct society, women want basically four BASIC things in a husband:

1. Money
2. Protection
3. Good looks. That includes height
4. A nice-size (“big”) penis, along with the skills to fuck well
5. Money

Ok that’s technically five lines not four, but you get my point. So if the groom didn’t have these bare-essential qualities, well it’s the woman’s dad’s fault for setting his daughter up with a loser. So it’s all on his head. Sorry buddy. Pakistani or not, you should know that 99.99% of women want money, protection, a handsome tall guy with a big dick. You shoulda researched all these things on the guy before setting him up with your daughter!

I Should Be God

I firmly believe that God the Creator has a sick sense of Humor. You know why? Because only the Ultimate Joker would give us sexual urges BEFORE we’re married.

Look, if I were God, I’d design humans to initially ONLY have intellectual desire and curiosity towards the opposite gender. Then, when each person finds an intellectual and spiritual match, AND they married, only THEN would the “sexual” hormones kick in, and then they could have erections, vaginal wetness, etc. And more importantly, those hormones would ONLY work in the presence of their significant other!!

Imagine the low divorce rates! Imagine the chastity! Imagine how sexually clean and spiritually healthier this world would be! Not to mention the drastic low rates of Sexually Transmitted Diseases!

I should be God.

Ok let’s take a scenario.

Now look at this goddamn “cute couple”. You see them and you say, “Awww, they’re so cute together”. Let’s be honest, they’re thinking the same thing that EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING:

Man: “Who cares if she has control issues and is emotionally damaged from lack of a father figure… I bet she’ll put out. I’ll fuck her hard and cum on her face. And I’ll get it all on camera.“
Woman: “I don’t care if he has a drinking problem and can’t manage his own finances… This guy is hot. I want to ride his cock, suck his balls, and let him blow his wad right on my face. And I’ll get it all on camera.“

See, if I were God, these unnecessary thoughts would be completely GONE from the human mind! It would more like ”Hey girl, it’s been 3 months now… you’re smart, I’m smart… we’re mentally AND spiritually compatible! Let’s get united in the presence of God and man, joined in holy matrimony till Death do us part. And THEN I can cum on your face.“

Seriously, I should TOTALLY be God!

College Slut Dies from Drinking Too Much Alcohol

I’ve lived in this great country for over 15 years, so shit like this has ceased to amaze me:

WINONA, Minnesota (AP) — On the morning after the house party on Johnson Street, Jenna Foellmi and several other twentysomethings lay sprawled on the beds and couches. When a friend reached over to wake her, Foellmi was cold to the touch.

Jenna Foellmi died of alcohol poisoning in December after a night of drinking.
…
Foellmi, a 20-year-old biochemistry major at Winona State University, died of alcohol poisoning on December 14, one day after she had finished her last exam of the semester. According to police reports, she had three beers during the day, then played beer pong — a drinking game — in the evening, and downed some vodka, too.
…
Exactly how much Jenna drank that night isn’t clear. The coroner did not release her blood-alcohol level, saying only that it was “not compatible with life.”

ROFLMAO!! Gee, ya THINK?

Police: “So how many times was the guy shot before he died?“
Coroner: “I can’t tell you exactly, but the number of gunshot wounds was not compatible with life.“

OH, DURRRRR…..

Anyway it’s a good thing she’s dead now, because if the Internet is any indicator, she’d probably have ended up like this anyway:

Hey, ever notice how ALL “Drunk College Sluts” are skinny white girls? What’s the deal with that?

How much skin is too much at the office?

Today, somehow this article made front page on www.cnn.com

Here’s a scenario very likely to happen at a small business this summer: The owner arrives in the morning, and is greeted not only by the company’s receptionist, but her exposed navel. And maybe her nose ring too. Employees showing up for work in tank tops or flip-flops may inspire the boss to write an office dress code. In the summer heat, many employees, particularly those in their first jobs, may show up for work in rather skimpy attire that a small business owner feels is unsuitable for the workplace. The solution is to create a dress code — something that every business has the right to do. Tory Johnson dealt with the issue just a few weeks ago. Three interns, ages 19 to 21, showed up at Johnson’s Manhattan recruitment services firm with tank tops, exposed bra straps and flip-flops.

If I were to start a new company, I’d set the dress code up so that it was OK for bra straps, thong straps, and cleavage to show. It would also be OK for chest hair and bulging erections to show. My company would be fair and totally balanced like that.

My company’s purpose would be the development of a new airborne drug that isolates and neutralizes those hormones in the human body which respond to exposed skin, exposed underwear, side-boobs, and bulging erections. There would be no other side effect except for the fact that parents would STOP giving a damn about thigh-high miniskirts, bulging erections, and visible bra straps.

You know why? Because we’d be too busy thinking about more important things like healthcare, insurance, sky-high oil prices, ENDING GEORGE BUSH’S WAR, and PULLING THE FUCK OUT OF IRAQ.

God, I hate humanity.

Yes, bulging erections and cameltoe… these would be BOTH equally acceptable at my company, so we could take pictures and get on with our lives. Because apparently we as a society can be so easily distracted by bulding erections and cameltoe. Grow up, people.

Hedge Fund Cheat Attempts Suicide (And Failed)

Look a this shit:

The hedge fund cheat who faked his death before going on the lam told a Manhattan judge Thursday that he tried to kill himself with a drug overdose before he surrendered in Massachusetts. The unsympathetic judge replied that Samuel Israel III, who scammed nearly half a billion dollars from investors, must forfeit his $500,000 bail.

Dude here’s a hint: most of the time, drug overdoses do NOT WORK. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Admit it… this was just a pathetic cry for help, because you can’t imagine a life without all your ill-gotten gains and extensive material wealth. Money made on the backs of honest, hardworking taxpayers, many of whom are right now losing their homes over your illegal bullshit.

If you really wanted to go out like a REAL man, you would do this:

• Get as much cash as you can, in hand
• Go buy a small gun and matching ammo
• Walk into a poor underfunded public school and donate the rest of the money to them
• Drive to a park
• Blow your brains out

Alternately, instead of using a gun, you could swallow a whole bottle of sleeping pills, then immediately slash your wrists with a very sharp razor so that you bleed to death (that way you fall asleep and never wake up).

Alas, now you’ll never get that chance because you’ve surrendered to the authorities like a li’l BITCH. Now you will go into some prison and be anally violated by someone on a nightly basis. It would be ironic though, because you’ve raped MANY hardworking people with your white-collar financial antics.

The judge had no sympathy, and neither do I.

California bans driving while holding a cell phone

A few days ago California became the fourth state to ban motorists from holding cell phones while driving.

This is probably old news by now, so I won’t go into details. Seriously, if you haven’t heard about this new LAW, that means that you need to stop watching trash fucking TV and listen to the news once in a while.

This law got me thinking… talking on the cell and driving has been a staple of our go-go culture for a long time. Judging from the growing number of fat-ass Americans still waddling around despite all the verified health dangers of obesity, human habits are hard to change. So, what will be some of the social repercussions of this law?

First of all, I bet many motorists will need something to do with their hands when driving (besides the obvious texting). If you are one of those motorists that feels that you just HAVE to do something with one hand while driving (instead of, y’know, keeping your hands ON THE FUCKING WHEEL), here are some suggestions for you:

• Let one arm hang outside the window, like many fat-asses do (because their lazy bodies are too large to fit INSIDE the car completely)… and hope that another car does not come too close and SHEAR your arm right off
• Flip off other motorists
• Flip off your passengers, for absolutely no reason whatsoever
• Jerk off
• Jerk your front passenger off. This might be somewhat inappropriate if you’re riding with your boss (but if you’re a female newscaster, it’s completely acceptable so that you can get that promotion)
• Air-drum to your favorite rock-n-roll song

I am sure you can think of other uses for your hands, you A.D.D.-having retard

Ok enough about that. Let’s talk about another issue: bluetooth hands-free headsets. I’m not going to explain what these are… again, if you don’t know what they are by now, you should probably crack the door open and go outside sometime. Direct sunlight might actually do you some good.

Anyway, I am sure you have seen many people with their little headsets attached firmly to one ear, talking “to themselves” like mental-hospital patients, little blue light flashing like they just got assimilated by the Borg.

Now that this California law is in place, that means that EVERYONE is required BY LAW to get a hands-free headset. Now we all know that continually putting on and taking off the headset can be a pain in the ass, so we can safely assume that most people, on their random trips to the mall, shopping center, restaurant, etc., will NOT take them off for that short time.

Have you ever been to a restaurant, and some jackass/slut/business professional one or two tables away is “talking to him or herself”? Ever felt like just walking over and slapping that headset off his or her fat fucking face?

	Keanu Reeves is my hero. Between Neo and Johnny Mnemonic, Keanu is the ONLY one who can wear this ridiculous cyborg-gear and get away with it. I mean it… He is just too cool for school.
	What the…? Bitch, I will slap that thing down your fucking throat! Who the HELL do you think you are???

So just imagine it… because of this law, shopping centers and other public spaces will be full of flashing, beeping people talking to themselves, and probably annoying the hell out of each other. I bet some people will bump into each other. Maybe a few fights break out, and someone gets their headset rammed so far up their ass, they can initiate phone calls just by farting.

This new law might actually do more harm than good in the long run. I’m just sayin’.

Now excuse me while I go charge my Motorola HT860 “Princess Leia” bluetooth headset, for the 3rd time today.

Talk and Drive? More like Talk and Die

I am sure you guys have already heard about the new California law banning talking on the phone while holding the handset to the ear. Actually, even if you didn’t, you will still get a ticket. Ignorance is not an excuse for breaking the law.

The law doesn’t cover TEXTING while driving though. Funny huh?

Anyway what I wanted to say was, I don’t think this new law will reduce car accidents by much. You know why? Because many lower-income people will be busy fumbling with their cheapo, low-quality, $9-dollar, made-in-fucking Hong Kong headsets, and they’ll STILL get into wrecks.

Wanna bet?

Stay tuned for my next post, in which I will share my thoughts on the social repercussions of this law.