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I Should Be God

July 8, 2008

I firmly believe that God the Creator has a sick sense of Humor. You know why? Because only the Ultimate Joker would give us sexual urges BEFORE we’re married.

Look, if I were God, I’d design humans to initially ONLY have intellectual desire and curiosity towards the opposite gender. Then, when each person finds an intellectual and spiritual match, AND they married, only THEN would the “sexual” hormones kick in, and then they could have erections, vaginal wetness, etc. And more importantly, those hormones would ONLY work in the presence of their significant other!!

Imagine the low divorce rates! Imagine the chastity! Imagine how sexually clean and spiritually healthier this world would be! Not to mention the drastic low rates of Sexually Transmitted Diseases!

I should be God.

Ok let’s take a scenario.

Now look at this goddamn “cute couple”. You see them and you say, “Awww, they’re so cute together”. Let’s be honest, they’re thinking the same thing that EVERYONE ELSE IS THINKING:

Man: “Who cares if she has control issues and is emotionally damaged from lack of a father figure… I bet she’ll put out. I’ll fuck her hard and cum on her face. And I’ll get it all on camera.“
Woman: “I don’t care if he has a drinking problem and can’t manage his own finances… This guy is hot. I want to ride his cock, suck his balls, and let him blow his wad right on my face. And I’ll get it all on camera.“

See, if I were God, these unnecessary thoughts would be completely GONE from the human mind! It would more like ”Hey girl, it’s been 3 months now… you’re smart, I’m smart… we’re mentally AND spiritually compatible! Let’s get united in the presence of God and man, joined in holy matrimony till Death do us part. And THEN I can cum on your face.“

Seriously, I should TOTALLY be God!

Leave a Comment » | General Social Commentary, Humor | Tagged: arousal, christianity, cum, God, hormones, horny, marriage, sex, sexual, sexuality | Permalink
Posted by lonetruth


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